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New Years -- 2005
Saturday, Jan. 01, 2005 at 11:29 PM


I'm hoping that this entry is somewhat lucid since I decided to fix myself a double-screwdriver. Totally worth it, but makes writing a bit hard.

I went into 2005 feeling like I accomplished a lot in the passing year and looked forward to the new one. I'm not sure I've ever been this optimistic about the new year, and it's not just about jobs, money, school, or anything else anymore. Everything feels like it's jelled in the last six months or so. Everything I hoped for and wanted for myself, I'm not only doing these things but I've gotten used to doing them. My wildest fantasies, always having to do with normalcy, I've achieved and are now commonplace. I've probably been happier than this in my more extreme moments. My cross-country trip in 2001 to Naropa, San Francisco and a Pagan retreat in Portland comes to mind, but I don't think I've ever been this content.

Clich� as it is, the only thing I want right now is for the people around me to feel half as good as I do right now. Life is hard, but for me things have always gotten better. Even if I wasn't about to begin a fantastic job that will allow me to cover all my own bills for the first time in my life, or if I didn't have the luxury of attending school part-time, I'd still be happy right now because things are going ten times better than they were a few years ago.

Not that there aren't things that I want to change. I made two New Years Resolutions this year:


  • Go to the gym on a regular basis (at least twice per week, barring sickness)
  • Wash my face before bed

Seem simple enough, but I've always had trouble keeping a regular schedule with pretty much anything.

Dating is, of course, also on my mind but I've been feeling less desperate and lonely lately. Or maybe that should be desperately lonely.... I've decided that Viggo Mortensen is my unattainable, would-be soul mate and plan to learn as much about him as possible.

I'll be looking into grad schools soon and planning what will be my permanent exit from Detroit. For the first time it's starting to seem real and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've always, even as a child, fantasized about leaving everything in my life behind and starting over but now that I'm starting to really enjoy my life I'm not so sure how I'll do starting over somewhere else.

No matter what happens I have 2005 here, and I plan to really enjoy it. Here's to a new year full of adventures, and things I never could plan for!


I'm listening to "Evil Gal Blues" by Dinah Washington and Fiona Apple's Tidal album
I'm reading The Silmirillian by J.R.R. Tolkien
I want for the transition into work and school to go smoothly

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Previous:
- - Thursday, Oct. 27, 2005
back yet again - Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005
Batman - Friday, Jun. 17, 2005
Just fucking around today - Sunday, May. 22, 2005
pre-birthday - Saturday, Apr. 30, 2005


Guero

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Diaryland